Couples Counseling: When Should You Go?

June 9, 2022

Every partnership is different. There are no specific criteria that will determine when you should seek couples counseling. However, there may be times when seeking it out would be beneficial. The goal of couples counseling is not to cure or “fix” your relationship, but to help you develop skills and strategies for managing conflict and working through problems together.

There are some key signs you may want to seek out couples counseling. These can include: 

Negative communication

Communication is how we express our feelings, thoughts, and desires to one another. When communication becomes negative, it can damage your relationship. It might help to work with a counselor who can work with you and your partner to establish healthy communication techniques and behaviors.

Staying together for the children

The decision to stay together for the children is not always the best for the children. It’s important to be honest with each other about your needs and expectations, communicate openly and honestly, and make decisions that are best for your family.

When you feel like you are just roommates

Your relationship isn’t at risk if you aren’t doing everything together – that’s normal. However, if there comes a point when you feel as though you are merely sharing space rather than being an intimate couple, this is often a sign that your relationship needs some attention. When this happens, it usually means intimacy, communication, conversation, or other key elements of the relationship are lacking. A couple’s therapist can revitalize the important aspects of your relationship.These are just a few reasons you and your partner may want to consider couples counseling, but they certainly aren’t the only ones! Many happy, healthy couples seek counseling simply because it fosters continuous improvement. 

Questions To Ask Before Counseling

Therapists can help in many different ways, and can certainly assist you and your partner strengthen your relationship. But before you start seeing a therapist, it may be wise to ask yourself these questions:

  • What are my goals?
  • Am I looking for long-term therapy or short-term?
  • Do I want to see someone who specializes in this problem?

Through relationship counseling, you can uncover many valuable tools such as positive communication techniques, healthy ways to show love or address problems, tips for expressing yourselves emotionally, and more.

Other Helpful Articles

Attachment Styles and Couples Relationships
How Trauma Affects Relationships
How to Create Space in Your Relationship

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