Money Matters and How to Approach Them

October 6, 2017

Money matters are one of the biggest reasons for marital conflict, and it’s not a matter of whether or not you have it. Finding yourself unable to talk about money but still experiencing conflict over it is not an ideal situation. We have compiled a few steps to begin comfortably talking about finances with you partner. For further information, check out this link.

1. Don’t Worry – Talk

A lack of communication will only contribute to a higher amount of stress and uncertainty. If finances are a sensitive subject, there are gentle ways of approaching the conversation that won’t be pointing fingers. However, one of the largest conflicts about money management come from simply having different approaches to budgeting. Reaching an agreement of what will satisfy both of your needs and goals will help immensely.

2. Be Honest

Once an agreement has been made, do your best to adhere to it. More importantly than perfectly sticking to the agreement is this: Be honest if you slipped up! Even if you and your partner have separate bank accounts, it’s important to be transparent. If you feel uncomfortable with a part of the financial agreement previously reached, that indicates it’s time to talk about it again – not a time to secretly go against the plan.

3. Trust Each Other

As with most aspects of a relationship, trust goes a long way. If you’ve both followed the previous steps, building trust should come naturally. For many, money isn’t the reason for a failing marriage, but a lack of trust surrounding that money is. Be honest and be trusting.

4. Be Timely

Sometimes bad financial news is unavoidable but avoid dropping "money bombs," advises Marc Zola, founder of Eugene Therapy and Oregon Counseling. He suggests creating predetermined times to discuss finances with your partner. This is beneficial because it limits the amount of time finances are discussed, and it avoids dropping heavy information at inopportune times.

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